Isn’t That Impossible?
Leah’s best friend from Ohio had flown down to Biloxi to visit. She invited our whole family to come and stay with her and her new husband at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. We were so excited. Ok, I was a little excited. I was mostly nervous because we haven’t stayed away from home since Marley was born. The kiddos were still very young and very set in their ways. We drove three hours to BIloxi and had a great day at the beach visiting with friends. We made our way to the hotel and then it happened. Addison got upset. I am talking epic meltdown upset the minute we pulled into the hotel parking garage. Why? Because it was night time and what we were doing was not part of her typical night time routine. The hotel room was amazing, probably one of the nicest I had ever seen. We got the kids in the room. We gave them their medicine. Addison could not calm down. We tried everything we could to prolong our stay but nothing was working. Addison wanted to be in her room back in her house.. So we did the only thing we thought would help… we drove the three hours back home so she could sleep in her bed. It was awful. We cut the trip short. We felt totally defeated. It was the first time we had tried an overnight family trip and it went horribly wrong. Was it always going to be like this? Would we never be able to take an overnight trip with the kids?
I cannot tell you how many experts told us how bad things were going to be for us and our kids. We were told if McKade was not speaking by now he probably never would. I remember taking Addison to see a doctor for an evaluation. They told us she was mentally retarded and would require help with even the most basic skills. Because Addison and McKade were both on the autism spectrum those same experts told us statistically that Marley Kate would have autism. When the kids were diagnosed, we were told that eighty two percent of couples with one child who has a disability divorce. We would have had to get divorced, then remarried and divorced again just to keep up with the odds. Screw the odds.
McKade can speak. He will answer questions in context. He will even start some spontaneous conversations. Addison has more than surpassed the label that they tried to stick to her. She has started reading basic sentences in class. This year for the first time, she told us her first and last name when we asked! Marley Kate does not have autism. She is nine going on thirty seven. She has aspirations of helping people with autism, designing homes, and traveling to the site where the Titanic sank. McKade is great at math, building legos, and can cook his own scrambled eggs. Addison loves to paint and recently started writing! All of the kids accomplishments have taken a little longer than the norm to happen but they still happened. Potty training the first two kids took almost seven years. A long hard seven years but we got there. Marley decided at about 18 months that she would be potty trained. We told her to pace herself. Based on our experience she had about six more years to knock that goal out.
Han Solo said “Never Tell Me the Odds.” Because to him it did not matter what should happen. He was going to do it anyway. We adopted that same idea in this house. It does not matter what should happen. We are going to get our kids where we want them to be no matter what other people tell us should happen.
Legislators will impose rules, regulations, and standards that will make our jobs harder. We will be low on supplies, short on time, and patience. We will be physically and mentally drained by the expectations that are placed on us by educators. We will still teach. We will still bring kids from where they are to where they need to be. No matter what the odds say. Do not listen to what others tell you about kids and the odds of your success. You have to focus on what our students can become. Remember why you started doing what you do and face the odds head on! The first step in overcoming insurmountable odds is believing you can. It may take a little time to complete the impossible, but it can be done.
Our first trip with the kids ended horribly. We drove home three hours and ended our trip before it really even started. Addison panicked because we were in some strange hotel and not her room. Now, Addison would rather stay in a hotel than at her house. She has traveled all over Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama, and Florida. We even spent Christmas at Disney World. The kids will take a trip at the drop of a hat. Screw the odds. We were not supposed to be able to stay married, but we did. Addison was not supposed to be able to read, but she did. McKade was not supposed to be able to speak, but he did. Why, because we believed we could.
“Is that even possible?”
“I never answer that question until after I’ve done it.”